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Collide isn’t simply an incompetent, ridiculous action movie that breaks all laws of logic, but one of the worst studio movies of the decade. There is no semblance of any effort from anyone involved, giving no character motivations, no comprehensible plot, and a shocking incompetence of basic filmmaking, including shot composition and basic story structure. The only thing more surprising than seeing such talented actors in a genuinely terrible movie is how the film is continuously able to get worse as it goes along.

Casey (Nicholas Hoult) is a former car thief who takes up his old career under an eccentric gangster (Ben Kingsley) to earn enough money to pay for the surgery of his girlfriend (Felicity Jones). Threatened by the biggest drug lord in Germany (Anthony Hopkins), Casey must survive a war of gangs in order to save the love of his life. Hopkins and Kingsley give some of the worst and most over the top performances of the year, and Hoult and Jones are bland at best, delivering awful dialogue.

The real crime of the film is that for all of it’s ludicrously ridiculous plot, the cringe inducing romantic dialogue, and shaky, quickly cut action sequences, there’s no fun to be found here. With unwatchable montages, heavy handed exposition, and an emotional undercurrent that is so nonexistent that the film drags on. It’s a truly terrible film, and one that will surely rank as one of the worst in quite some time. Grade: D-

 

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